ABC sensationalizes adoption

In the most exploitive and disparaging-of-adoption media effort yet, ABC will air a sneak peak' of their new series Find My Family on Monday, November 23rd. With a sensationalized and soap-opera style, ABC will take viewers into the lives of adoptees and birth families in their Search to be reunited.

With the tagline " Some people have spent their whole lives searching for the one thing that matters most... Their wish will now come true. Let's find your family, producers completely discount any worth of the adoptive families who have loved and raised these children. Instead the show emphasizes the loss of a child's Real family' as the one-and-only central issue of all adopted children's lives.


The entire premise of this show is upsetting on so many levels. I encourage every family of an adopted child to prepare mentally for the public reaction, and the reaction of their children who may find themselves the sudden center of assumptions about their needs, desires, and personal feelings on their adoption.

This new series is being heavily promoted on ABC. Created by the producer of Extreme Makeover, Find My Family is laden with emotional angst and tearful moments meant to increase ratings and viewership. Unfortunately, the general public's opinion and understanding of adoption is largely shaped by the media. ABC's exploitive new series will focus on the most extreme issues in adoption, and is sure to have an effect on how our children's teachers, extended family, and friends view and accept adoption.


For years, the adoptive community has sought to rectify the past vilification of birth-parents as people who gave away their children. Birth parents are now widely recognized as the First Parents of children, deserving of love, respect, and understanding. It is in no one's best interest to turn the tables and begin to portray adoptive families as second-class, or less-than' a family created biologically. This new series is a step back for everyone.

Search and reunion of adoptees and birth families is part of adoption, and always will be. All adoptive families and birth families are connected through our children, whether we accept that idea or not. Our children bind us. It is a precious, priceless connection. This show cheapens and sensationalizes what is sacred. ABC, your show is an insult, and hopefully a flop.

To continue this article:  http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=684
The article also has tips on how to discuss this issue with your adopted child.

Adoption for Life Conference

Russell D. Moore, author of Adopted for Life, will be hosting the "Adopted for Life" Conference in Louisville, KY Feb. 26 & 27, 2010.
For a list of speakers, schedule, and registration information:  http://events.sbts.edu/adopting-for-life/


Description of Moore's book:
The gospel of Jesus Christ — the good news that through Jesus we have been adopted as sons and daughters into God’s family — means that Christians ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans in North America and around the world.

Russell D. Moore does not shy away from this call in Adopted for Life, a popular-level, practical manifesto for Christians to adopt children and to help equip other Christian families to do the same. He shows that adoption is not just about couples who want children — or who want more children. It is about an entire culture within the church, a culture that sees adoption as part of the Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself.

Moore, who adopted two boys from Russia and has spoken widely on the subject, writes for couples considering adoption, families who have adopted children, and pastors who wish to encourage adoption.

Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman are making overseas adoption more affordable

An article from Christianity Today:

Beauty Will Rise by
Mark Moring

When Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman returned from China in 2000 with their first adopted daughter, Shaohannah, friends greeted them at the Nashville airport, congratulating them on the precious addition to their family. Several of them said, "We dream of doing what you've done. We just can't afford it."

Mary Beth stopped in her tracks. "Are you telling me that the only thing between you and rescuing one of these orphaned babies is money? If you're serious, start filling out the paperwork. We'll pay for it."

Steven laughs upon retelling the story, remembering his wait a minute, honey reaction. International adoptions cost between $10,000 and $45,000 per child.

At first Mary Beth opposed adding to their family through adoption. The couple already had three teenagers, and as a Grammy-winning musician, Steven was frequently on tour. Given their lifestyle and life stage—both were almost 40—adoption seemed impossible. But the Chapman kids, especially Emily, had left letters on their parents' pillows with comments like, "Please listen for God speaking to you about this." Steven got on board first, and Mary Beth eventually came around.

Since Mary Beth's airport offer, her brother and Steven's brother have each adopted two children from China. Other close friends have followed suit.

The Chapmans started exploring further adoption support efforts by asking Bethany Christian Services, the adoption agency they had worked with, if it had funding set aside to help people with the hefty costs. Bethany didn't. The couple researched starting their own program to help underwrite adoptions, and two years later, they founded Shaohannah's Hope.

Since 2003, the ministry—now called Show Hope—has assisted more than 2,000 families, with grants totaling over $6 million and an average grant of $3,000. They rarely fund an adoption entirely. "We don't want to take the place of seeing God provide," said Mary Beth. "We just give them enough to get the roller coaster going." Families have adopted from China, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Russia, and the U.S.

The Chapmans have donated a substantial sum to Show Hope, said Charley Redmond, director of operations and development. In addition, Mary Beth serves as president, Steven is vice president, and two of their children, Emily and Caleb, are on staff. (Show Hope is a member of the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability.)

Among Show Hope's grant recipients are Dan and Jori Susanka of Shakopee, Minnesota. Combined with a grant from Target (Jori's employer) and funds from a home equity loan, the Susankas adopted Emmy Ruth Yeye from China in 2005. Jori, a longtime Chapman fan, said, "It's amazing that Steven and Mary Beth put their money where their mouths are, and not only talk about adoption but also live it."

Despite growing from a $250,000 budget in 2003 to nearly $2 million this year, Show Hope can help only a fraction of those who ask for assistance. Of about 150 monthly applications for grants, only 20 to 30 applicants receive money.

From Tragedy to Legacy

The Chapmans themselves adopted two more Chinese girls, Stevey Joy in 2003 and Maria Sue in 2004. In May 2008, 5-year-old Maria was killed when her brother accidentally struck her with an suv in the family driveway.

"Maria is very missed," said Mary Beth. "[But] we can definitely see God's work through [the tragedy]. People's lives have been touched and changed because of her short life."

Show Hope rarely funds an adoption entirely. 'We just give them enough to get the roller coaster going,' said Mary Beth.Maria left a legacy. Gifts to Maria's Miracle Fund are approaching $1 million. Earlier this year, Maria's Big House of Hope, a Show Hope facility for 700 orphans, opened in Luoyang in Henan, China's most populous province.

Show Hope partners with New Hope Foundation, which oversees Maria's Big House and focuses on caring for abandoned babies. Founded by Robin and Joyce Hill in 2002, New Hope works with local government leaders and the Children's Welfare Institute to care for such children, many of whom have surgically correctable deformities.

"The goal," said Show Hope director Scott Hasenbalg, "is for these children to be placed into permanent family settings." Hasenbalg said Show Hope has "ongoing communication with our operational partners … to ensure monies are being invested wisely. Our relationship with the local authorities is healthy and strong."

In early July 2009, the entire Chapman family travelled to China for the grand opening of Maria's Big House. During their visit, they traveled to Sichuan Province, the site of a May 2008 earthquake that killed more than 70,000 and left more than 5 million homeless. Steven said that because of Maria's death, his family was better able to comfort the afflicted.

"I can really understand their pain now," he said. "They've lost sons and daughters. We lost a Chinese daughter. We can comfort with the comfort that Scripture talks about."

This month, Steven will release his latest album, aptly titled Beauty Will Rise. While the songs are mostly about how Maria's death has affected his family, the title could just as well describe the Chapmans' and Show Hope's good work on behalf of orphans around the world.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/november/22.36.html?start=2

Time is running out for a 15-year old Ukranian girl who desparately wants to be adopted

Can you please help save this child by circulating this request:

Slusarchuk Alyona, DOB: Dec. 4, 1993 - turning 16 VERY soon - wants a
family very much. Calm, well balanced girl, pleasant, shy, gentle, very
nice, studies very well, performs tasks of adults with pleasure, takes
part in orphanage activities, obedient - all best characteristics from
orphanage director and staff. Really wants a family and agrees to be
adopted abroad, not afraid. The orphanage where she comes from is
involved in LOTS of social activities - singing, dancing, performing at
city concerts and competitions, sports events - a very joyful and
loving place. An interested family will receive more photos of
orphanage activities to see the environment Alyona was growing in.
Please, help save Alyona from orphanage graduation - only 6 days left
before somebody has to start applying for her!!!

If interested in adopting Slusarchuk contact:

Sundy Goodnight

SCTNow National Campaign Director
212-333-7286
www.SCTNow.org
or
Teresa Fillmon, Executive Director
His Kids, Too! - www.hiskidstoo.org
Cornerstone Adoption Services, Inc. - www.cornerstoneadoption.com

Please forward this to anyone you know who might be interested in adopting an older child.

Adoptive Families Magazine's list of the Top Adoption-Friendly Companies

Making It Work: Top Adoption-Friendly Companies

Let's hear it for companies that get the message:
Adoption benefits are vital in today's workplace.

Adoption support at work is moving into the mainstream. Reimbursement of adoption expenses up to $10,000, paid adoption leave up to three months (in addition to Family and Medical Leave Act time), and flexible work arrangements are some of the benefits now on the table.
If your company's adoption benefits aren't up to snuff, do something! Make an appointment with a big cheese at your company and recommend that adoption benefits be introduced or expanded. Or send a persuasive letter stating the case (download Adoptive Families' Instant Letter here).
Adoptive Families applauds the forward-thinking companies that go the extra mile to help their employees build families—and set an example for the rest of the nation.

see the list here

National Adoption Day

On National Adoption Day, this year on November 21, communities in all 50 states will hold courtroom celebrations to finalize more than 4,000 adoptions of children from foster care. Hundreds of judges, attorneys, agencies, adoption professionals, and child advocates volunteer their time to complete the adoptions.

The National Adoption Day Coalition named Nia Vardalos as its 2009 National Adoption Day spokesperson. The writer and actress is an advocate for U.S. foster care adoption. She and her husband, Ian Gomez, adopted their daughter from foster care in 2008.
Read her story here: http://cgcministry.blogspot.com/2009/11/nia-vardalos-writes-about-adopting-from.html

November is National Adoption Month

Currently, there are 496,000 children in the U.S. foster care system and 130,000 of these children are waiting for families to adopt them. The majority of waiting children are of color with older African American boys waiting the longest for adoption.

Adopting from Kenya

Because Kenya is party to the Hague Convention and has not yet established regulations and procedural infrastructure necessary to meet its obligations, the State Department is unable to issue U.S. immigrant visas for children adopted from Kenya.  The State Department warns Americans against beginning the adoption process for Kenyan children at this time.  For more information visit http://www.travel.state.gov/. 

International Adoption News: China, Guatemala, Liberia

CHINA   The China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) announced on September 15 that, beginning December 1, all adoptive families must be registered with a Hague-accredited adoption service provider (ASP). If an adoptive family is currently registered with a non-accredited ASP, they are required to transfer their adoption to a Hague-accredited ASP no later than December 1. Families currently using the I-600A and I-600 process (non-Hague) may continue with this process.

GUATEMALA   In an effort to improve communication with families who have pending adoption cases in Guatemala, the Department of State will be creating a listserv. If you have a pending Guatemala adoption case and would like to be included, e-mail AskCI@state.gov , and provide the information listed at adoption.state.gov/guatemala.html

LIBERIA   The Government of Liberia informed the U.S. Embassy in September that it will not process any adoption cases during its suspension of intercountry adoptions, including those that were in progress before the suspension was announced, on January 26, 2009, and that it will not permit adopted children to depart Liberia. The Liberian government has made no provisions to grandfather cases under the existing laws. Therefore, any case in which a full and final adoption was not completed prior to January 26 is on hold. The Liberian government is willing to consider exceptions for certain special needs children. There is no indication when the moratorium might be lifted, and prospective parents should not apply to adopt there at this time.

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/news.php

Nia Vardalos Writes about Adopting from Foster Care

From Adoptive Families Magazine: http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1990

 

Adopting from Foster Care--with Help

"It wasn't easy to adopt an American child. Actually, the process was quite simple, but finding out how to do it was the hard part."

By Nia Vardalos

My New Year's resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose between 10 and 3,000 pounds. In the middle, I list career goals and coveted shoes. Somewhere near the end, I'll add something about donating more often to charity and reducing my carbon footprint.

I start out with good intentions, but by mid-January, the list will be stuck to my cheek because I napped on it as I watched fit people exercise on cable TV. By the end of January, I detest the list and avoid it, all crunched up at the bottom of my purse. By February, I've bought a new purse.

This year, I got to put something different on my list. I wrote just one thing: I resolved to be a good mother. I got to write this first-time resolution because, early last year, my husband, Ian Gomez, and I adopted a little girl.

Not because an adopted child seems to be the latest Hollywood must-have accessory. But because, after 10 years of banging my head against the brick wall of infertility, I accepted the fact that there would have to be another plan for me. And (cue music swell) motherhood turned out to be the most meaningful thing I've ever done with my life. Really.

I tried many routes that fell through or didn't work out. Then I waited on many lists. The phone didn't ring. I didn't know what to do. So, I kept asking questions. Don't we have orphanages in the States? I found out that, no, we don't. But we do have 500,000 kids in foster care, and 129,000 of them are legally free for adoption and waiting for a family. I was stunned.

I realized there was simply no reason not to adopt an older child. In a white-hot moment, I knew this was what I had been waiting for.

I want to write that it was really easy. But it wasn't. The next phase took a while because the information on how to adopt from foster care just isn't out there. Not sure whom to approach, I went directly to the State and said I was open to any sex, age, and ethnic background. Oh, goodie, they exclaimed, because they could place an at-risk, multiple-sibling set in my house on a trial basis, and an adoption might come out of it if the parental rights were terminated in court after a few years.

My mouth went dry. Like, just-licked-a-pumice-stone dry. That sounded complicated. But I really, really wanted to be a parent. So, I said, "OK!"

I did ask about the children who were already legally free. I was told there was a process, and that I had to be patient. I thought I would be connected with a child who was waiting for a home. Again, they explained, I had to trust their procedures. I now felt apprehensive, thinking I might get lost in yet another situation that wouldn't resolve in a positive way.

I was sent away with a thick packet of fingerprinting forms and a daunting homestudy kit. As I sorted through the mounds of paperwork, I found out about (cue lightbulb click) FFA's.
That's when things finally accelerated.

An FFA--foster family agency--helps individuals navigate the state system. The people (I call them super-pretty angels) at the FFA we worked with were helpful, compassionate, and organized. They assisted with the paperwork, explained and set up the homestudy, and did a nationwide search for a legally free child they felt we could be good parents to. Nine months later, through their various connections, we were matched with our daughter. We finalized our adoption within a year. [Editors' note: Many states' Department of Social Services contract with private agencies, sometimes called foster family agencies, to train foster and adoptive families. To find one near you, call AdoptUSKids at 888-200-4005 or go to adoptuskids.org.]

And, yes, she is perfect. She is four now, and to say she's adapted well would be a huge understatement. The experience of transitioning this child was astonishing. We kept it quiet for almost a year, to protect her privacy and give her time to adjust.

Last November, my husband and I thought about the 129,000 kids waiting for a family and decided to announce our daughter's adoption to raise awareness of National Adoption Month. That is why I'm writing about this now. Maybe there are other people out there who want to adopt from foster care.

I will tell you this much: You will meet amazing people, who are committed to helping children achieve a fresh start. One of these groups, The Alliance for Children's Rights, invited me to be part of a fantastic event called National Adoption Day. On November 15, 2008, in over 300 cities, 4,000 children were adopted. Several hundred lawyers and judges worked to assist in the finalization of these applications, so parents who were not able to afford lawyers and court fees could adopt a child.

I met amazing people that day--single mothers who adopted older children, gay couples who were adopting again, families who had biological children and adopted others, older couples who fulfilled children's dreams of finding a family. It was a day so filled with love and joy, I felt like there were cartoon bluebirds chirping above those kids' heads. I cried like someone's crazy aunt at a graduation.
So, if you're interested...let's discuss adoption.

There seems to be the impression that it's difficult to adopt in the U.S. Having been through the system, I want to tell people how to do it: Just find a foster family agency. An FFA will help you navigate the system--will walk you through the paperwork, the necessary and thorough background screening process, and the procedure of adopting from foster care in the U.S.

I would never disparage anyone who goes outside their own country to adopt--every child deserves a home. I do want to point out that the U.S. foster adoption route includes a child's full medical and health record. In terms of your child's lifelong medical care, full disclosure helps.

U.S. foster adoption welcomes families of all income levels, and, unlike private adoption, it is virtually cost-free. The system doesn't discriminate--single parents, older couples, gays and lesbians, all may apply. A family is a family, and there are 129,000 kids waiting for one. Our daughter came to live with us, and turned our house into a home.

Nia Vardalos is an Academy Award- and Golden Globe-nominated screenwriter and actress. Her next films are the romantic comedies My Life in Ruins, and I Hate Valentine's Day, which she wrote and directed.

This piece was originally published in the Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission from Nia Vardalos.

AF Talks to Nia Vardalos

Tell us how you decided to adopt through foster care.


We had been on a few paths that fell through, including several failed U.S. newborn placements. As heartbreaking as it is for adoptive parents, the law says that the woman who gives birth gets to change her mind, and that makes sense. We were also on waiting lists for China and Greece.

I hadn't realized that children in foster care were available for adoption. But once I learned about these kids, I knew it was right for us. We chose to consider only children who were legally free, because I was not up to fighting someone in court.


How did your social workers help you get through the process?


We worked with a foster family agency. It's a free service (paid for by the government) that anyone can use, and they helped us with the paperwork and homestudy. You look online at photos of children, with a few lines of information, and if there's one you feel a connection to, your social worker goes to a social worker in that state and finds out more about the child. Perhaps that child is more suited for a home with siblings, or doesn't want to relocate from her home state.


The social workers were a well of compassion. I spent hours on the phone with ours, saying that I didn't understand why we couldn't be matched overnight. She said that there's a process, and it was going to happen. Ironically, it was nine months from the time we first met with the social workers until our daughter walked in the door.


How did your family handle the transition?

Some things happened very quickly, and some took more time. It was different from adopting a newborn, because our daughter was a fully formed personality. We followed our instincts, and realized the best thing we could do is tell her the truth. She didn't have a lot of words when she came to live with us, but we spoke with her as if she comprehended everything: "This is your room…this is Manny the dog…if you need us, we're right down the hall." Eventually, she would nod in understanding. At first, she was waking up every hour and checking her surroundings--her anxiety wouldn't let her sleep, which was understandable. We slept in her room and went to a sleep clinic, and now she sleeps from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. Everything can be worked through.


What's life like for your family now?

I'm with my daughter all the time, and it's clear that I'm supposed to be her parent. We really know each other, and we laugh all the time. It's the most amazing experience.

I've realized that the reason it took me so long to be a parent, and the reason I had such incredible success with My Big Fat Greek Wedding, was so that I could use my big mouth to talk about foster care. I'm a spokesperson for several organizations, and for this year's National Adoption Day.


All in all, it's been such a lovely process that I told my social worker not to lose my number--we'd definitely do it again

Yesterday's Hope, Today's Family Photo Contest

Joint Council on International Services is sponsoring a photo contest, running from November 21, 2009 - December 31, 2009. 
Details:  http://www.jcics.org/photocontest.htm

President Obama declares November National Adoption Month

Presidential Proclamation
NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH, 2009
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

All children deserve a safe, loving family to protect and care for them. In America, thousands of young people are waiting for that opportunity. During National Adoption Month, we honor those families that have strengthened America through adoption, and we recommit to reducing the number of children awaiting adoption into loving families.

America is a country rich in resources and filled with countless caring men and women who hope to adopt. These individuals come from all walks of life, united in their commitment to love a child who is in need of the protective arms of a parent. We must do more to ensure that adoption is a viable option for them. By continually opening up the doors to adoption, and supporting full equality in adoption laws for all American families, we allow more children to find the permanent homes they yearn for and deserve.


This month, we also focus on children in foster care. These children are not in the system by their own choosing, but are forced into it by unfortunate or tragic circumstances. These young people have specific needs and require unique support. Federal, State, and local governments, communities, and individuals all have a role to play in ensuring that foster children have the resources and encouragement they need to realize their hopes and dreams.

The course of our future will depend on what we do to help the next generation of Americans succeed. This month, we celebrate those families brought together by adoption and renew our commitments to children in the foster care system.


NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 2009 as National Adoption Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month by reaching out to support and honor adoptive families, as well as to participate actively in efforts to find permanent homes for waiting children.


IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirtieth day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand nine, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fourth.

BARACK OBAMA

More about Safe Families - Mentor Families

If you or your group wants to support or be a part of the Safe Families  program, but are unable to take a child into your home, consider becoming a Mentor Family. Mentor Families provide supplemental support to the Safe Families during placement.  Mentor Families will provide friendship, resources, daily living items, knowledge and prayer for families who are in crisis.  Each crisis family who enters the Safe Families for Children program will work with a Mentor Family and will benefit from support and encouragement enabling every family to get back on their feet and allowing their children to return to a crisis free home.

A Mentor provides support for either the Safe Family or the family that is in crisis.  Some examples of how a mentor may help:
 - provide diapers to the Safe Family
 - donate clothes
 - help the Safe Family transport children to school
 -  provide gas or Publix cards to the Safe Family
 - take a member of the in-crisis family to a job interview.

This would also be a fantastic service project or ministry for Sunday school classes, churches, etc.  For more information contact Alison Schminke, (407) 877- 4006, aschminke@bethany.org.