A Glimmer of Hope - Ways Those Who Have Adopted From Ethiopia Give Back

5 Ways Adoptive Families Give Back to Ethiopia
From Adoption Today Magazine
Despite the media’s blitz debating whether or not Ethiopia will continue on as the hot spot for international adoption, non-profit A Glimmer of Hope is seeing a different kind of trend skyrocketing within the adoptive community with strong family ties to this sub-saharan African country.  In the last six months, five adoptive families have spearheaded different personal campaigns that so far have raised almost $800,000 to fund the construction of schools, water projects and health clinics in rural Ethiopia.  Through Glimmer, a growing stream of adoptive families are giving back in big ways to the birth country of their adopted children by helping Ethiopian women and children living in extreme poverty.

A family calling
“We were very, very blessed with these two children, and had a strong calling to give back to the country that has given us so much,” Jeff Greene said.  Jeff and his wife, Kristen, might even call this trend a family affair since they have personally rallied an army of parents, sisters, brothers, cousins and a posse of close friends to their cause to give back to their children’s birth place. The Greenes’ cause hit home with many who are giving up their birthdays or participating in half-marathons and fun runs to raise donations.
Continue with story here.

A Foster Father's Experience

From Orlando Sentinel columnist George Diaz:
A Foster Father's Joy - and Heartache



He came to us last October late on a Monday afternoon, wearing a gray tank top and no shoes or socks. All of his possessions were in a plastic Publix grocery bag.

The placement woman from the Children's Home Society had cold-called as she always does, with a calm sense of urgency, looking for foster parents to take in a 22-month-old foster child. There was very little information available about him, but we asked a few questions, took a deep breath, and welcomed "Little Man" into our home.

Eight months later, he was gone. He left a few days ago with a bunch of stuff. Minnie and Donald Duck dolls, a wardrobe of clothes, his cars and trucks, his Mickey Mouse sippy cup, Nike flip-flops and a really cool pair of shoes that light up when he walks.

But this is not about all the gifts we gladly gave him. It is about the treasures he gave to us.
I can't tell you the exact minute that my wife and I fell in love with him.
He officially hooked me when he called me "daddy" for the first time. Then he piled it on:

His way of talking to inanimate objects: "Have a good day, chair!" he would sometimes say on the way out to day care. His persistence in trying to wrap flags around his little waist, wanting to play with us, when I took him to play flag football. His shout-outs of "Springsteen!" when I clicked on the CD player in the car.

And best of all, his way of imploring me to join him in the kitchen for breakfast so he could get his chocolate milk fix. "Come on, daddy," he would say, motioning to me with his little fingers. "I shows you."
It all adds up to one mushy loving mess, and in a heartbeat, we became a family.

That's how this foster parent thing usually works. Kids don't normally end up abused, neglected or in garbage bins, despite the occasional horror story in the media.

Our Little Man was not alone, unfortunately. There are more than 6,000 children living in foster homes in Florida. Each child has a different story, but share one thing in common:
They are innocent bystanders of some dysfunctional mess.

There is always an urgency to find a foster family when they are taken into state custody. Foster parents don't get to window shop, and pick out what they like best.

The foster parent thing isn't a business transaction, despite getting 18 bucks a day from the Florida Department of Children and Families. It's highly personal.

More often than not, there is a quiet resolution. Biological parents stumble, and their kids are given a safe haven while the parents progress through a case-ordered plan addressing their issues. The goal is always reunification, unless there are extreme circumstances where the parental rights are terminated.
There will be pain. But you root for the outcome that will break your heart.
"How can you let him go?" and "I would get too attached" are the lines foster parents always hear. The truth is, we have no super-powers and we get attached and we cry when they leave because your family has been ripped apart.
Through it all, you celebrate the victory of a family that is back together, whole and hopefully healthy.
I fought with every fiber in my body to keep reminding myself of that goal on our last night together when I put him to bed. We laughed and we cuddled as I read him stories from his favorite books.
I closed my eyes so he wouldn't see me crying as he said, "Love you, Daddy," and we hugged it out one last time.
The next morning, we packed his stuff and put him in the car that was taking him back home. One of his sisters was in the other car seat, smiling and happy to see him again.
I keep thinking back to that moment when I start obsessing with my personal heartache.
It is not about me. It is not about my wife. It is all about him.
He is home for Father's Day, and that is good.
Have a good day, Little Man!

To learn about becoming a foster parent, go to http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/os-ed-george-diaz-foster-parent-0619120110617,0,471223.column

Both Hands Foundation's Founder to Speak at Northland

Lifesong For Orphans and Both Hands Foundation have partnered together to create a ministry that both assists orphans (adoptive families) AND helps widows.
 The Founder and Executive Director (J.T. Olson) is coming to Orlando on a family vacation and agreed to take time to come to Northland Church on Wednesday, June 1, 2011 at 7:00 PM to present an informational program.

Here is a video clip of Mr. Olson explaining how Both Hands works.

An Essay From a Former Foster Child

Being Resilient
by George Dean

"I entered Community Services at the age of 6 after my dad broke my leg. He threw me on the floor and still to this day, I wonder why. We don’t talk anymore. There have been numerous times I have tried to reconcile with him but to no end, every time was a failure.

I was shuffled in between foster homes and group homes for years, struggling to find out who I was. Not fitting in anywhere. Bullied all the time, beat up and bruised. My mind was like a never ending maze and every way I thought was the way out, led me to a concrete wall. I felt like I could never get through."
Continue

Adoptive Mom's Organization Provides Financial Assistance to Adoptive Families

"Becky Fawcett considers her infertility a blessing. But it wasn't always that way.

Desperate to be a mother, Fawcett endured five rounds of in vitro fertilization and three miscarriages before she and her husband Kipp adopted their first child in 2005."

Continue  . . .


"Building families -- that's what we do."

Series of Interviews on Foster Care and Adoption

The Examiner in Dayton, Ohio is presenting a new foster care and adoption interview series. 

"Although social workers and other experts can tell you a lot about the foster care and adoption process, they can't give you the nitty gritty details about the experience. Only someone who has been through the foster care or adoption process can tell you what it is really like."

Continue reading the first interview here.

Helping Foster Children throught the Educational System

"As little as two percent of Americans have experienced foster care, but statistics show that as much as half our homeless population have been involved with the system."


In honor of National Foster Care Awareness Month, Fostering Media Connections, a group dedicated to changing the foster care system through the power of the media, is kicking off a series of town-hall type meetings that address foster children in the educational system.  These meetings titled, "On the Road to Educational Equality" tour can be viewed and streamed live.

Here's a terrific article (and video) about the tour (and foster children & education) written by Daniel Heimpel, Project director of Fostering Media Connections:
On the Road to Educational Equality: Addressing the Educational Needs of Foster Care Youth

For National Foster Care Month: A Video Brochure of Former Foster Youth

"I am here. Don't forget me."



These youth are members of the Foster Care Alumni. 

Free to Live Tour - Helping Children Living in Poverty

Desperation Band, Meredith Andrews, and Tom Davis are the headliners on the Free to Live Tour, sponsored by Children's HopeChest, a ministry dedicated to helping children living in poverty escape sexual slavery and exploitation.  Find dates, cities, and ticket information here.

Tips and Recommended Reading When Adopting an Older Child

Older Child Adoption  - What to Think About, Tips for Successful Transition

by Susan Serrano as reported in Adoptive Families Magazine.

As more infants and toddlers are united with adoptive families within their birth countries, an increasing number of older children have become available for international adoption in recent years.  “I think older children have always been there, but there is a growing awareness that there are families interested in adopting them,” said Denise Schoborg, director of Dillon International’s China adoption program. “The
need for families is very real, but prospective parents need to do some soul-searching to determine if they are ready to parent an older international adoptee.”

The realistic expectations, research and education, that are key to any successful adoption experience, become even more vital when considering the adoption of an older child, who may have some additional struggles adjusting to life with their adoptive family.  “Kids that come from institutional settings are survivors. It may take some time for the child to learn what their role is in a healthy family and develop interpersonal skills in their new environment,” explained Debbie Wynne, director of Dillon International’s Texas office and Buckner Adoption and Maternity Services. “A child may be biologically a 7-year-old, but that does not mean that they have had seven years of nurturing by loving parents. They may even have been in a situation where they had to act as a parent.” 

“It is important for parents to realize that while they may be dealing with a 7-year-old that has the street smarts of a 14-year-old, that same child could also have the attachment needs of an infant. You have to be prepared to parent where that child is developmentally in the moment,” Schoborg added.

Patience is critical as the child attaches to the adoptive family and learns how to be nurtured. “The child may take their disappointments out on their family, but parents need to recognize that the child is acting out of a sense of grief and loss and to steadfastly offer unconditional love in return. They should not take those attacks personally,” Wynne said.

Families preparing to adopt an older child can pave the way for smoother transitions with plenty of advance education that focuses on the needs of older adoptees. It is also crucial for families to surround themselves with a support network that includes adoption professionals and adoptive families, Schoborg recommended.

Securing the services of a translator and locating other language resources prior to the child’s arrival will also go a long way toward building attachment and establishing relationships, Wynne added.

Although the adoption of an older child does come with some unique challenges, it offers advantages as well, Wynne points out. “With an older child, there is an opportunity to really ‘see’ them,” she explained. “You can know their health and how they respond in social and educational environments. With an infant or toddler, you really haven’t seen the person that they will grow into being.”

“There are children who desire so much to be in a family,” Wynne said. “The families that do well adopting older children are resourceful and committed to helping their child heal from the traumas of the past. It is exciting to see families that have chosen this path do extremely well. There are families for every
kind of child.”

Recommended Reading:
• Raising Adopted Children by Lois Melina
• Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray
• Nurturing Adoptions by Deborah Gray
• The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis, Ph.D.
• Adopting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck, Ph.D.
• Parenting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck, Ph.D.
• With Eyes Wide Open by Margi Miller, MA, & Nancy Ward, MA, LISCW
• Toddler Adoption by Mary Hopkins Best, Ed.D.
• Parenting Your Older Adopted Child by Brenda McCreight, Ph.D., RSW
• Our Own - Adopting and Parenting the Older Child by Trish Maskew
• Adopted Teens Only: A Survival Guide to Adolescence by Danea Gorbett
• Beneath the Mask by Debbie Riley, MS
• Parenting Adopted Adolescents:  Understanding and Appreciating Their Journeys by Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D.
Susan Serrano is director of media relations for Dillon International, Inc. Founded in 1972, Dillon International is a licensed, nonprofit adoption and humanitarian aid agency that is affiliated with Dallas-based Buckner International. Headquartered in Tulsa, Okla.—with branch locations in Tustin, Calif. (in Orange County); the Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas area; the Kansas City, Kansas area; St. Louis, Mo.; Little Rock and Fayetteville, Ark; and Richmond, Ind.—Dillon International is Hague Accredited through the Council on
Accreditation to process international adoptions pursuant to the Intercountry Adoption
Act of 2000.